I love GreysWriters. God, it’s almost better than seeing the show each week. Ok, not really. But reading their blog, the writers who create the shows, is sooo awesome. It just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. I *almost* cry at every show, it’s that good. hahaha – That’s a cool name, Zoanne, btw. The writer of that last show. I like it. It is my guilty pleasure though, as last week’s episode was named.
My other guilty pleasure is blogs. I’m addicted to blogs. Not just my own. I like my blog, it’s fun. I need to post more. I need to post more on our work blog, but posting work related stuff is a hell of a lot harder than posting me stuff. Posting me stuff, I can just sit down and write and not care… Posting work stuff.. is harder. I have to think about it, analyze it, research it… Boo..
But back to blogs… I love my Google Reader. I track over 120 blogs right now and I probably add one or two a week. I have them in nice and neat categories and read them everyday. Well, some I scan and delete. It’s amazing how blogs put you in someone else’s life so easily. I should update my blogrole with some of these blogs that I’m reading but I don’t even know these people. Well, more then 3/4’s are all work related. But others I read in my ‘Friends’ category, I end up clicking and clicking and clicking and I get to the most funkiest stories, so I add them to my Reader, and when they post, I end up hooked. And some of them are so sad. So heartbreaking. It’s a pleasure be given a glimpse into these people’s lives and emotions and be able to learn something from their actions. I feel guilty reading them sometimes though. Who am I to be reading their stories? But that is what the Internet has allowed us to do. It has given everyone a voice. Crazy.
So tonight is the last night I nursed Sam to sleep. Tomorrow, hopefully, I am going to do her last feeding around 730 and then go up for a bath, brush her teeth, a few stories, and then in the crib to go to sleep by herself. She has been doing naps pretty well… but I think I am sad. I feel bad that I’m not going to be nursing her to sleep. I love nursing her to sleep. I simply can’t nurse her any longer. I’m not quitting right now. But when she turns a year I will be. And I want to be ready for that. I don’t want to shock her by stopping nursing and stopping her sleeping at night. I think my hormones are going to make me very sad about it… but I have to. The most important part is that I need medication (not for anything horrible.. but I do need it) and I can’t take it while I’m nursing. So.. I can suffer (not to bad) until that time. But really, I want to stop too. I want my body back. So, very sad. But good too.
I was thinking while I was nursing her tonight… feeling all sad that this was the ‘last time’. It probably won’t be. I’m sure she will snooze in my arms a few times in the next two months. But what about after that? I won’t ever have the pleasure of seeing her eyes drift shut in my arms. Ok, I may… a few times… but not while nursing. She’s getting so big. These kids grow so fast. She’s already getting old! What if she stops snuggling with me? I’m not even a snuggler and I am already missing it!
Blah blah blah 🙂 Off to bed with me!
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