loml is a song that hits so hard. It’s lyrically amazing. No one seems to know if it’s about Joe A, Joe J, Matt, or… anyone else. Does it matter? No. But if it’s about Matt (which I tend to think it may be), she had him on the back burner for years. They continually met when it wasn’t a good time, yet suddenly they came together and crashed and burned.
Everyone assumed she meant “Love of my life” when we saw the track listings but no… it absolutely means “Loss of my life”. This should have been the main Track 5 and it simply doesn’t compare to So Long, London.
This song is completely relatable to just about anyone who believed in a beautiful love that simply fell apart. Or just the toxicity of love bombing and lies.
“Who’s gonna stop us from waltzing
Back into rekindled flames?
If we know the steps anyway“
I can’t help but think of this line on a weekly basis…
“I felt aglow
like this
Never before and never since”
and then the one later in the song in how it contrasts:
“But I felt a hole
like this
Never before, and ever since”
It huurrrrtttsss, so bad. So relatable. And “aglow” just calls to her earlier songs “Daylight” but also all of her warmth and sunshine references from So Long, London, Fresh out the Slammer, and Losing Me.
She continually repeats that he said, she was the love of his life. She never said he was the love of her life. He played games with her and broke her heart.
And the piano beats, over and over again. So simple and so poignant.
“You said I’m the love of your life
About a million times”
The toxicity of the relationship. The confusion.
It’s really interesting thinking of how she compares her relationship not quite dead but almost in the cemetery line. How does she come up with these lines? I need a full on YEAR poetry class that just talks about these lines non-stop.
If you know it in one glimpse
It’s legendary
What we thought was for all time
Was momentary
Still alive, killing time at the cemetery
Never quite buried
And then when the bridge starts! It’s perfection and so heart-wrenching.
You shit talked me under the table
Talking rings and talking cradles
I wish I could un-recall
How we almost had it all
Dancing phantoms on the terrace
Are they second-hand embarrassed
That I can’t get out of bed?
Cause something counterfeit’s dead
Is it completely horrific that I’m sitting here in bed, staring at the ceiling and can’t move because something that was completely wrong in the first place is dead anyway? I love this bridge. It’s right up there in my top 5 of all her songs but definitely top of this album. Smallest Man, Who’s Afraid, Black Dog have amazing ones too though. Ahh, also Alchemy. Hmm.
These lines… the heartbreak in her voice. The way she sings it.
“It was legendary
It was momentary
It was unnecessary
Should’ve let it stay buried”
I don’t even have to explain it. The pure poetry she evokes is heart-breaking.
And how she trips up the words with him saying “I’ll never leave you” but oh… “nevermind”.
I’m combing through the braids of lies
“I’ll never leave” …
“Never mind”
And then the ending… Ahhh, her serious tone, the beat in the background.
Our beautiful life, that you killed… and I’ll always remember it for what it never was.
“Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire
Your arson’s match your somber eyes
And I’ll still see it until I die
You’re the loss of my life”
TTPD Deep Dive
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