Sam left for college

I’m sitting at the pool a the Marriott Marquis in San Diego on a Sunday afternoon. The last three days have been productive, fun, sad, and joyful.

I am crying off and on right now though, so there is that. To be fair, tears are not actually coming DOWN but they are welling up and I am definitely sad in this moment. But I’m using the time to process so hopefully at the end of writing this, I will be… better? Eh.

I have to talk about how proud I was of Sam. She had everything organized. She had notes in her phone, notes written on sticky pads, and everything was just all taken care of. I came home Wednesday night after work and all her bags and boxes were organized by the front door. She needed my help on things, of course, but she had done it all. I also did my fair share of buying things for her. We organized the car with MOST of the things and made a plan for the morning.

Wednesday night we had dinner – which everyone STILL is reading/watching their devices but we were sitting at the same table, as we do – so that was nice. We played Take 5 after and I joked as we were starting that if Sam won she would get all A’s in college. And she won!! It was magical. Griffin and Sam had a rare moment of chatting and silliness. It’s rare lately, I guess. We were reminiscing about the home videos they used to create. I know I had a few of them on my YouTube account but as Sam said, “No, Mom, I haunt your YouTube account, they aren’t on there”. Alrighty then. I guess I should add more things to my YouTube account!

Thursday morning we did a family group hug. Griffin got a little sad. I took hugs of them both and got evil glares FROM BOTH for doing it but whatever, in 5 years they will be happy I have those photos! Justin and Sam got in their car and I got in mine and we started going down!

I ended up calling Nicole. We talked the entire way there but 5-10 minutes away the call dropped. I kept trying to call her back and finally texted, “Did a meteor strike Florida, where did you go?” Her cell ran out of battery. But (I just checked), we talked for 1:18 minutes and it was a really quick drive to SD! I texted her later that talking to her the whole way was SO NICE and really distracted me. We usually chat on Marco Polo back and forth so it’s just talking “at” her usually for 5 or 10 minutes and having an hour long conversation was much needed.

The check-in process was amazing at SDSU. They have this DOWN! We went to a parking lot where she drove to her dorm “table” where she got her key and room number. Then, we were directed to the closest parking lot. We walked in and (while we did walk RIGHT PAST IT) once we circled around, we figured out where we walked in to rent a bin to go back to the car and dump everything in. We got (almost) everything in the bin and realized that being on the 7th floor, we had to wait in the elevator line. J ended up walking back for the 3 smaller things we left that were easier to go in the elevator as we didn’t want to stand in that line again!

Once we got upstairs we saw all three roommates! We got there right at our check-in time but they all got there an hour earlier and got to select their beds so there was one left. The room had two lofts and 1 set of bunkbeds and while Sam had preferred a bottom bunk she took what was left for her with incredible grace (she honestly was completely okay with it).

Not gonna lie, it was packed in that room. “Al” just had her mom there but “As” and “H” had both sets of parents. We had our game plan though. I immediately got on the top of the bunk and started making the bed!

OMG, it’s so hard to make a top bunk bed. AHHH. But I did it. With J’s help. What we SHOULD have done was bring down the mattress, maybe take it out in the hallway (?), and make it up… but once I was up there… you can get it 95% of the way there, it’s just that last 5%! I ended up stripping my rings and bracelets, handing them to J and we just leveraged the mattress off the rail for the final little tugs. I was worried about falling off the side of the bed at one point though! But we did it!

Sam was unpacking like a mad woman. J kept looking a little lost and I kept giving him tasks to do. We got the “Bunk Butler” which was an amazing contraption that creates a perch for the top bunk to let the WooZoo fan sit on to give her air. It’s not that hard to make but I bought it 3 months ago because it was on back order – not knowing if she would have a top bunk or not but dang, I was happy I bought that thing. It makes it sweeter that all three parents were like WHAT IS THAT THING, YOU ARE SO SMART.

Thank you, thank you! Nothing I like better… ha ha! And none of them even belonged to the FB parent group that I had been haunting either. I got so many great tips from that group. I had the heavy duty S hooks that were perfect for Sam’s robe, purse, and towel. I got the hanging organizers that went on the inside of the wardrobe. I passed on all the links to the parents for them to buy, haha.

I also had the hack for the “pool noodles” the pipe insulation from Home Depot that was $2 and went on the hard metal of the bunk beds that stopped them from hitting their head. Except I had talked it up to Sam so much and she REFUSED IT so much, but the other girls were like YES we will take it! And Sam still refused. I think she had to refuse one thing to be able to keep her control over the situation. Yes, she is clearly my daughter. Although on the last day she did say “You are always right, Mom” although I think it was mostly but then she threw in an always there. I am definitely not always right but when I do my research, crowdsource, and read ALL THE REVIEWS of everything… YES, I am always freaking right, thank you very much.

But on the flip side, these parents were AMAZING. Al’s Mom (I found out later) was a meeting organizer and she just started making notes and went on a 5 hour shopping spree and came back with the most amazing structure with a billion bins and got the girls so much storage space. The other two were also incredibly helpful getting rugs, and other things.

After about an hour and a half, you could tell the girls were getting antsy. Plus, two of the Moms were about ready to kill their daughters, ha ha. I was really grateful for Sam then. I knew she was getting slightly irritated at some of the organizing I was doing but she was still very polite to me but we were all getting HUNGRY. As the two other Dad’s were just standing around, I walked out for a Mom conference about what Al’s mom was going to shopping for. Then I convinced the others to go out to lunch. They nominated me to ask the other girls as “they would actually answer me” haha!

So I walked back in and casually suggested/asked that we go get the girls lunch, or did they want to eat something later? We had a a few non-committal hums and haws and I said, well we (the parents) are going to go to lunch and come back in an hour or two then! Knowing that they would definitely need us later once they had some time and space to organize a bit and bond. I ushered the parents out the door, my husband decided to leave since he wanted to charge his car, and the rest of us went to lunch! Well, Jani (Al’s mom) went shopping!

It was delightful! It really was though. I had a nice time getting to know them. It was funny as I was comparing their personalities to their daughters as they were similar. As it can usually be… but it was a nice time. The girls had been getting along so well and we were all so grateful for it.

When we finished lunch, we saw on our child trackers (ha) that they were all having lunch together. So we walked over, toured the bookstore again while they were eating and then walked back. Except Sam and As went to get their sorority wristband from their Rho Gam (this is a whole post in itself), and I walked back with Al and H and followed them up the stairs. It was kinda funny but As’s parents and I were in the room with the other two girls. Jani was coming back with all the crazy storage and H’s parents were waiting downstairs for her. She got stuck in awful traffic though so we were upstairs for about 30 minutes just chilling. But once everyone got back, the two Dad’s got busy setting up the structure and I was doing… something? I was organizing something for Sam once she came back.

This is what this is all about though. It’s just being PRESENT keeping the girls calm and helping them through what they needed. It was about 6pm when the girls were finally starting to say they needed to get ready for their first dorm party and we all exited. There had previously been talk about dinner together with the parents but we all made a beeline for our cars because we were so tired!

I ended up checking into my AirBnB and walking 10m over to North Park for the place I had made reservations for dinner at. It was completely past my reservation time but the place was empty. I had eaten so many crackers at that point that I don’t even know why I ordered a full dinner but I did and it was lovely. And I also had gelato after. Ahhh.

I remember thinking about it – I had not cried at all that day. I was so BUSY and so PLEASED that everything was coming together for her. I was also tired and it was nice to have some alone time. I texted briefly with Nicole and she said, “I wish I was there!” and I said, I wish you were too but it’s nice to have some alone time. So it was truly nice.

The next morning I spent about 5 or 6 hours (because I woke up at 5am!) just organizing email, paying bills, catching up on things, and doing a very long 3m run which was needed. It was beautiful out!

But Sam checked in and said she had a great time at the party the night before. I was so happy for her. She met some girls and boys from her dorm, some of them came back to the room and they listened to the new Sabrina Carpenter album (I listened to it too, it was pretty good!)

Then she said she wanted me to come around noon after she had a chance to workout. I did a few quick errands (Home Depot for the pipe insulation and fabric for the bottom side of her bunk) and I went over and got her and we went out to lunch at an adorable nursery/organic place with live music. She was a little (lot) tired but was still upbeat and chatting with me about various things. I was trying to see who she was “vibing” with the most but she wasn’t entertaining any of those questions, ha ha.

I was feeling a little bit more sad during the day though. I told her that and she just sort of nodded, haha. But then we left for lunch to our errands.

We went to TWO Target’s (sigh… that’s another story) and CostCo and then back to her dorm. We got some cool drawers for the underside of her desk, I sat for 10 minutes untangling the fairy lights she quickly somehow destroyed, and I did the pipe cleaner on Al’s and H’s bunk. Oh, I also did the fabric on the top side of her bunk. I had nagged her for that weeks ago and she said NO but it worked out SO well and she was SO pleased with it. I was happy how it turned out.

I ended up taking these photos and a video since it was quieter with less people in the room. Please note the vines and pictures she hung up (she added more the next day that they found at a pop-up)! Her bedding is very nice. See the “S” hooks in the bottom left?

Here is a picture of the bottom of the loft. The wardrobe was full of about 50 hangers, a hanging organizer, and then she has two drawers. She has her bulletin board up, more pictures, and she just thumb-tacked the heck out of everything. I’m so glad As’s dad is a contractor we are going to be doing a lot of paint touch-ups in May!

Her desk is all organized with some cool containers. Her.. shoot, what do you call those? Her beauty mirror thing looks great and is VERY bright for doing her makeup. It’s in the far right corner of her desk. You can see the three drawers under her desk. Oh! Her amazing plug tower was super helpful. Because she got a top bunk we just missed the hanging organizer but we ordered that from Amazon and J brought it on Saturday. Also, note the top of the bunk where the pink fabric is. I totally nagged her about that but it worked out great! See on the right side where she didn’t want the fabric because she was hanging her disco balls. Very important!

Had to also take a picture of the storage thing the Dad’s put together that Jani bought. Wow! Note all the shoes on the bottom, and then each girl took a bin on every row. H is five foot so she can’t reach the top but oh well, they will figure it out.

The biggest issue right now was coming back in from the shower. Their feet are wet and it takes a long time to dry things. So we got Sam a small rug for her section, and the three other girls got a bigger rug in front of their beds.

Then, we headed off to Trader Joes! I was very proud of her, she carefully shopped and looked at ALL the prices – even though I told her that because I was there, I would be paying for it! But she really wanted to be careful with what she was buying. For money reasons but also her stomach issues! But we had fun going up and down every aisle. She tried some egg muffins that she could freeze/microwave in her room, and she got a jar of peanut butter. Other than that, the rest of her stuff cost around $30 for what she was planning on eating for the week. So that was a nice budget – which would be over and beyond what her meal plan gave her. We headed home and tucked everything in the small fridge/freezer.

At that point, it was getting late and I had plans to go to the baseball game with my Mom. Sam had plans to go out. I gave her a BIG hug. Then I left!

I sat at home for about 20m eating cheese and crackers and prosciutto before rallying to go meet my Mom and the two sports-crazy guys she was with, haha. The stadium was BEAUTIFUL!

We totally walked the WRONG way when we came in and walked alllll the way around everything. But it was a beautiful day and I’ll take the exercise. And for whatever reason the Padres were on FIRE! (They lost the night before AND the night after) but we had two homeruns and they won 7-0. Woot!

Picture of fireworks after one of the home runs!

My Mom and I just gabbed the whole time and Kim with his knee issues ended up getting a seat below, and Gregg joined him after the 4th inning. We actually joined them after the 7th inning, haha. These apparently were seats that you reserved but super fancy folding chairs so it was better knee room!

I ended up walking back to the Marriott with them after the game to let Uber surge pricing die down. We had a drink and then I went home after 10pm. Busy day!

The next day I did another run – although slower. I have not been drinking often so the two nights in a row was slowing me down! I meditated, did some other things, and then checked out at 11am. My Mom came over and then both of us went back to the school.

We were bringing Sam some more paper plates and utensils and she said, “Bring JJ up too, I want her to see the room!” JJ was SO excited but she said she would play it super cool (ha).

So we did that. We walked around and wanted to get food at the Garden (healthy place) and everything closes on Saturdays! I guess it’s not weird but that was a bummer. We ended up getting in line for the Habit and… I won’t even go into that story but it took us 25 minutes to order and 30 minutes for the food to cook but we had time. J, G, and Sharon came at the perfect timing so we ordered for them and ate outside.

Sam came and met us at 1:35pm and we walked over to the arena for Convocation!

The stadium was awesome! We were seated with her college so they directed us over but wow, it was impressive. I really want to go to a basketball game!

The ceremony was “only” 50 minutes but Sam was not having it. I knew what it was going into it but I also wanted to stay for it! It was very sweet. They made the kids stand up by college to welcome them and they got pins, and then the student was “supposed” to pin the parents. Sigh. Sam reluctantly pinned it on the bottom of my shirt – not the top left where she was supposed to. She was “tired”. Honestly, I get it though. She is NOT USED to partying every night and that was two nights in a row.

The Grandma’s had fun though. We got a group picture and walked back to the dorm.

J had brought some stuff from home that she forgot. They got it from the car and she relented to have G go up to the dorm room and J to see it. I was a little sad that Sharon couldn’t. For whatever reason she didn’t want her to, even though I gently asked. But Sharon understood. We showed her a video of what the room looked like.

At that point Sam was a little unsure of what she wanted. She had wanted to go out after and I knew that J wanted to drive home. So I said if you guys aren’t planning on staying, why don’t you leave and then we will figure out what else Sam needs. So she gave hugs to the three of them. All dry eyes so that was nice.

She sat down with my Mom and I and we discussed how she was feeling, if she wanted to go down to the Marriott with us, or just get some food. She realized that she was just really tired (and they had ANOTHER party that started at 10pm that night!) and she thought she just wanted to go back and relax and eat the food we got at Trader Joes the day before. And I was completely fine with that. (I had just eaten, I was absolutely not hungry!)

So we gave hugs. I didn’t cry. My Mom started to say something emotional but Sam wasn’t having much of it. So she walked off and didn’t look back. I snapped this photo of her as she was walking away and was definitely feeling it. It had been a long day and I was also proud of her though.

And then we headed to the hotel. My Mom was super generous and got me a room so I could stay another night. This room was exactly what I needed! Gorgeous view, lovely waterfall sound from the pool below, balcony to sit on and stare at the birds. Perfect!

We relaxed and waited for my Grandma and her boyfriend who had gone to the zoo. Long story short, she ended up ditching us so we went to dinner. Except my Mom made reservations for the wrong night, haha. It was an adventure! But we took a neon cart, who blasted music, so we danced and all was well.

We wandered into a restaurant and it was YUMMY! Oysters and lobster tail for me, plus champagne. (I am not drinking for a month after this!) and JJ and Gregg shared lobster and steak and had martinis. It was lovely and then we had gelato after.

It was great to gab with my Mom and Gregg. It was also awesome to wander around Gaslamp district after. The Padres game had just gotten out so there was great people watching and we had our gelato in one of the “people only” streets (no cars?), anyway.

The next morning I had a great workout in the gym, and then went on a 2+mile walk with JJ and Gregg through Seaport Village to all the big aircraft carriers, which was lovely.

Then finally got to see Grandma Evie! We didn’t get a picture of all of us but it was so nice to gab with her. She is turning 88 in two weeks and she’s definitely feeling it and slowing down. She’s debating leaving Palm Springs and moving into Laguna to be closer to everyone. And out of that heat!

Breakfast ran late. Colin wanted to go tour the Midway as he was in the merchant marines when he was younger. He’s toured it many times but wanted to do it again! haha. I really wanted to go with them but once breakfast was over (11:40am) and I saw that tours were “2-4 hours long” I knew they wouldn’t even get over there until 1pm at least. So I said goodbye!

I sat on my balcony for a few minutes and then went downstairs to the pool where I started this! I was hoping it would be cathartic to get out. I think it is… But this meme made me laugh.

Totally valid. I was near tears sitting by the pool, imagining going home to a house without Sam there. But then I was happy she was doing so well. I texted her asking her if she needed anything before I left. Did she? Nope! She was going to go walk around with Al and look for where their classes were tomorrow!

What is crazy right now is the parent group I’m in is FILLED with comments like “my daughter called me crying, her roommate snored all night and she got no sleep and wants to come home”, “her roommate is bullying her and bringing guests in at 3am and she wants to come home” and seriously, every single imaginable scenario is being posted right now and my jaw is just dropping.

While she is incredibly tired, she’s happy as a clam. Although as I was finishing this, there was a fire alarm in her dorm and while she wasn’t in it yet, she was right outside. Now I have to worry about something else? Yikes. Hopefully it was a false alarm.

I’ve had several friends checking on me, which is sweet. One of them has the same aged daughter who is still living at home and commuting and her words resonated… “It’s going to be a huge adjustment for all of us. Our daughters are such big personalities and influences in our lives.” Ahh, that makes me tear up slightly just to write that out again. Sam is such an influence in my life.

But I have a busy week. I was able to talk to another friend alllll the way home, so that was such a nice distraction too. Especially since with traffic it took an extra 30 minutes! So two whole hours. 🙂 I came home to arguing with G on whether or not he should go to Court of Honor where he was going to be celebrated for earning his LIFE Scout rank. Did he want to go? It was back and forth and then it was “nah”. Sigh. I told him I was SUPER proud of him earning his Life rank. Le sigh.

And yes, the fire alarm? Was a false alarm. She’s back in her room. She probably took the stairs… haha. I’m glad she’s texting me though. I’m looking forward to our daily chats!