Today’s “Dad Text” from Ang resonated with me more than usual. These texts are so thoughtful. She was missing her dad and signed up for service to text her daily with messages that a dad would send to her daughter. And then she copies them and sends them to me! (And others too, I think.)
Some examples are:
“We all have moments we wish we could change – it’s part of growing. But those moments aren’t the whole story. What really matters is how you show up now, how you learn from them, and how you choose to grow.”
“You deserve as much love as you give. Don’t settle for any less than that.”
“People might not always say it, but you are appreciated. The kindness and love you show make a difference, even in the smallest ways.”
Today’s was:
Sometimes we don’t hear the words we need when we need them most. But you can give them to yourself.
Today’s prompt: What’s something you wish someone would say to you right now? Write it down. And then say it to yourself. You deserve to hear it.
I do struggle with prompts. When I struggle with things, I recognize that I should sit with them for longer and work through them. Even Especially when it feels hard. I first wrote down that I wished someone would say “I love you, and you are perfect how you are.”
But I know I am perfect and awesome. That is a slight joke but I don’t think that resonated when I wrote it out. And I just wrote it because it’s a really nice thing to say! And it’s funny that I have to write these things out and mull over them and really think about what it is and how much it means to me.
I love you is a sweet phrase. I hear it from a lot of people. It means different things in different moments. And I am a person with flaws but I have a good deal of self-worth – and believe in myself – so being perfect doesn’t fit either. I am great how I am, yes. You can take me or leave me though.
As I thought about it, I tried to think about what would be impactful. Did I want to be admired for a specific trait? Did I want to be valued for an ability I have? Or do I inspire people and help them in some way.
What triggered me a bit was being valued for who I am and the role I play in my loved ones life. I want to be important to the people who I find are important. I want to be comfortable where I am, connect with the people I love, and welcomed to the table. Or… you know, the room. The party. The conversation. I don’t want to be perfect as I am, I want people to think of me and genuinely enjoy who I am and enjoy spending time with me. It’s something about being interested in me. In connecting with me.
“I love spending time with you.”
I love hearing that. I needed to hear that today from myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I am such a lucky girl to have loved ones who express their love to me. They even tell me that they love spending time with me. Ang and I always go back and forth after having dinner, thanking each other for the time spent. I do the same with other cherished friends. I deeply enjoy spending time with them, and I can feel the genuineness in the reciprocity.
But sometimes, the affirmation I crave most is missing from the people I need it from. Or the imposter syndrome hits in a certain way and I feel like I’m just a footnote at a gathering. And I deeply appreciate when my presence is valued and enjoyed – it’s a feeling that resonates deeply within me.
And now I put my hand over my heart and take a deep breath in, and say to myself, “I love spending time with you”.
It actually does make me feel a little bit better.
